The USS Billy Badass, executing then President Ronald Reagan's international policy, was patrolling the waters off the coast of Nicaragua, Honduras and El Salvador in the Gulf of Fonseca during Operation Shaky Spinner. The Badass was tasked with monitoring and intercepting weapon shipments between Nicaragua and the rebels in El Salvador. Apparently President Reagan's administration feared that, unchecked, communist forces would be crossing the Rio Grand and invading the USA. The Badass was at the pointy end of the efforts to prevent that from ever happening.
The Badass was barely making headway. The sky was cloudless and the sea was an indigo mirror. Master Chief Petty Officer Billy "Goat" Bones was fishing off the edge of the helo deck, using light tackle, casting a spoon at a school of mackerel lazily swimming astern of the Badass.
Seaman "Simple" Sailor leaned on the rail beside him, thinking about eating a delicious grilled mackerel dressed with salt, pepper and lemon juice. Ensign Edmund Tweed was asleep on a lawn chair in the middle of the helo deck, shirt off, head back, mouth wide open, a string of saliva hanging from the corner of his mouth. He was trying to do something about his farmers tan, but had only succeeded in acquiring a fiery burn on his chest and shoulders. Blisters were sure to form. Getting sunburned was punishable at Captain's Mast according to the Uniform Code of Military Justice, but only if you went to sick call and it kept you from your duties. A few other sailors, off duty, also relaxed on the helo deck, working on their tans, reading books, listening to music on their Walkmans, or playing catch.
There was a sudden flash of silver in the water, a large splash and the tip of Master Chief Bones' fishing rod bent towards the water, the line stripping from the reel at an impossible rate. A second later, twenty yards astern, a sailfish jumped clear out of the water, cleanly hooked. "I think you hooked something, Master Chief" said Simple. "No shit, Sherlock" replied Master Chief Bones.
Master Chief Bones worked the fish like the expert angler he was, playing it patiently, letting it run when it wanted to, reeling it in cautiously when he could. After about sixty minutes, he had the sailfish alongside the Badass. Seaman Sailor and a couple of the other crewmen that had gathered around climbed down into one of the safety nets, line in hand. Master Chief Bones gently guided the fish through a lasso in the line, Sailor and his mates, slowly closed the lasso around the fishes' tail and hauled it up on deck. It was a beauty and quite a prize. It measured just over seven feet from the tip of its beak to its tail and weighed in at ninety pounds.
Word about the amazing feat of angling soon spread around the Badass. All the men not on duty came out on deck to admire the unexpected catch. Even Captain Caine came down from his cabin and enviously eyed the great fish. After all the excitement had abated, Master Chief Bones took down the fish and with the help of Seaman Sailor and the polychromatic Ensign Tweed, cleaned it, wrapped it in a gigantic piece of wax paper provide by the Badass' cooks, and carried it down to the mess deck to store in in one of the Badass' walk in freezers. Master Chief Bones had hoped to have the fish mounted by a taxidermist upon their return to homeport, but it turned out to be prohibitively expensive, so instead he had it smoked. Seaman Sailor enjoyed his share on soda crackers chased down with Cherry Coke. Even Captain Caine got a piece of smoked sailfish.
(This story is based on actual facts. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.)
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