The USS Billy Badass pulled into Tela, Honduras and gave the crew maximum liberty. Ensign Edmund Tweed, Master Chief Petty Officer Billy "Goat" Bones and Seaman "Simple" Sailor ambled down the dock to the nearest watering hole, El Papagallo Azul, and ordered some Cervezas Imperial. They asked a caballero at the bar about the local attractions. The caballero, Don Pablo Cebolla, invited them to join him for the 75th birthday celebration of a local cacique at a village down the road. They downed a couple or six Imperiales, climbed into Don Pablo's troca and headed down the road. They got to the village. The village and all the villagers were bedecked in the finest of decorations. Festive music could be heard all around. The plaza was full of vendors selling fancy food and drink. At the center of the plaza was a large bohio, the cacique's abode. After hours of wild dancing and loud singing, right at the stroke of midnight, the people started to hum in unison and quietly dance in place. A ceremonial guard of four warriors carrying an ornately carved mahogany throne paraded down the main avenida to the entrance of the bohio. There, they were met by the cacique, his wife and his chief advisor. Don Pablo explained that local custom was to carve a new throne and present it to the cacique on his birthday. The old throne was taken away and stored in the attic of the bohio. The new throne was taken inside the bohio, the old one carried up the stairs to the attic as anticipated. Suddenly, a loud groaning and cracking was heard and the whole bohio collapsed in a crash of splinters and debris, and the cacique, his wife, his chief advisor, the four warriors and various other worthies were buried under the wreck. Ensign Tweed, Master Chief Bones, Seaman Sailor and Don Pablo stared mouth agape as the dust settled. Master Chief Bones shook his head and said to Don Pablo: "Well I guess this goes to show you that people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones."
(This story is nautical lore.)
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